weddingmoneysavers

Weddings are usually family events. Families have kids. The question is, are weddings really the appropriate place for kids to be?  There are many reasons to exclude the 18 and under sect - it can help save room in your budget for more friends and family - there is less room for chaos or damage - no tantrums or crying (unless Aunt Tilly doesn’t catch the bouquet!).   In reality, most wedding receptions begin around 6 pm and run until 11 pm or even later.  Children belong in bed - not out partying all night, especially since once they become tired the cranky factor comes into play and honestly, mom and dad just want to have a fun night out without dealing with that.

But weddings are for families, and families include children. Having them share your special day can make it more special.  Relatives are happy because they can share their family with you, the children will have happy memories of the celebration with their relatives (to this day, my nieces think our wedding song was Buster Poindexter’s “Hot, Hot, Hot” because their favorite memory was of the huge conga line we had going during that song!).  When cousins and siblings have traveled a distance to attend, child care is difficult, so including the children alleviates one stress. 
So how do you celebrate with children without having stress?  Here are a few ideas:

- Include kid-friendly options in your menu - hungry kids are miserable kids. Keep in mind that the food should be healthy enough to give them energy but sugary foods will make them crash harder later. 

- Let the kids be involved.  Give them a role in your day, whether it be handing out programs, staffing the guest book, or with disposable cameras taking candid shots of the guests, if they are engaged they are usually happy (as opposed to being constantly asked to be quiet and stay out of the way).  - Consider setting up a table for the kids, where there are special favors for them. Think black and white Lego’s to design a bride/groom, disposable cameras, special jigsaw puzzles made from photos of relatives (try walmart.com photo center or other online photo shops), coloring pages and games (maybe a relative scavenger hunt where they have to go find someone born before 1930 or someone with the same middle name, etc. - a great way for kids to start a conversation with relatives they don’t see often!)

- DJ’s often have packages where they include giveaways such as sunglasses, hats, inflateables, and more.  If they don’t offer, ask, or look into some of these fun options for the kids table. 

- A “kids only” dance with the Bride and Groom make for a great photo op and can be really fun.  Try, “Life’s What You Make It” by Miley Cyrus (Hannah Montana) or anything by Drake Bell, the Jonas Brothers, High School Musical, Camp Rock and the like.  These can be fun and modern alternatives to the Chicken Dance and Hokey Pokey.  If the kids are asking for dances, you can go with Macarena or Electric Slide, but more modern choices include Cotton Eyed Joe and the Cha-Cha Slide.

- If you decide that your budget and the style of your affair won’t accomodate children, you may get some resistance from friends or relatives. The bottom line is, it’s your choice.  To soften the decision, understand where your guests are coming from and do what you can to help them provide care for the kids.  For many families, the cost of attending a wedding can really be a factor - the clothes, the gift, travel expenses, accomodations, and then child care expenses …. being your guest adds up quickly.  Whatever help you can provide shows them that you are really interested in them sharing your special day and in the end, they will appreciate the time to just be a couple.

Whatever your decision - stick to it and be fair.  Saying no to children means setting an age limit and conveying that message consistently to all. Remember it is your wedding so you have the final say. 

In theater they say that one should never work with animals or children.  Of course, another saying is ‘out of the mouths of babes’ - including children in your day can be unpredictable, but in the end you may decide that having the children there made your day even more special.

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